![]() ![]() Wargame: Red Dragon is one of the best games you might never play. In an effort to preserve the writing it has been reposted, unaltered, here by Brandon “wayward strategist” Casteel – the original author and proprietor of this site. Also, for when Oporto gives you the wrong dipping sauce.NOTE – this article was originally published in June of 2014 on the website , a website which has since closed down. Obviously this is for when your mate has been unceremoniously dumped and her ex immediately started fucking someone else. But you can use it to be like “love this!” bc it’s essentially an exclamation mark but with a heart. Anyway the sparkly heart is for when you’re wasted and sending out illegible “ILY” texts to your entire contacts list. Why are there so many pink hearts? This is what keeps me up at night. “Happy for youuuuuu!” Ugh do not be this person. While the orange heart is for real hatred, the heart with a bow is for smarmy frenemy shit. This is the heart of fake love according to my mate Amy. Like when your mate decides to do “402649 photographic days of loving my boo”. Use this one when you want to talk shit about couples who over-share on Insta/FB. You’re an embarrassment, pink-hearts-doing-circling-motion. It can only be used to indicate you’ve gone steady with someone. You’ve got a crush on someone and you probably shouldn’t have a crush on them. You’re using your vibrator or your fleshlight. You put this at the end of pass agg texts with subliminal meanings. This heart is disgusting, so it’s for using when you’re being a shithead. It can also, according to my sister who needs help, mean ‘ocean love’ – when you see a cute dolphin or sea mammal. This is either sad love – when your mate breaks up with their partner, you can send this baby. So it’s LGBTQI but specifically, it’s for lesbians? This is now my current stance because I’m a good ally and I listen. I have asked one lesbian and two gay men about this, and they are all in agreement that the purple heart is “lesbian love”. I’m neither of these things, I’m a fucking idiot who always spills tomato sauce on her shirt so I never use it. Or when you want to give off the air of being ~cool~ and ~with it~. It’s the chic heart, and you use it when you like someone’s outfit. Does that sound insane? I don’t care.Īlllll the fashion folks use this one. You’re saying “hey pal, love you and also feeling kinda Irish in my soul”. This implies love but with a touch of the Irish. This means “I like you and we are dating, but I’m not ready to red-heart you”. If you didn’t know this, you’re absolutely my parents and can you get off my story, Dad? Do not me, do not come for me, just read and obey. Just to emphasise – these are the absolute and definitive meanings. I’ve decoded – with a LOT of input from my group chat which are the authority on everything and that is final – the meaning behind all the emoji hearts. I do a lot of shit for you that I don’t want to do, and that you also don’t want me to do. I shouldn’t even be writing this bc I use emojis sparingly and reluctantly but here we are, mates. It is stupid that I was even having a conversation about emoji hearts and their meanings, but hey – we live in an emoji world, and I’m just an emoji girl. ![]() Basically it was for sending to people you’re dating to be like “awww” without the intensity of the red heart and it’s “love” connotations. ![]()
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